Wednesday 13 June 2018

Unbelievable

Such a nightmare and scary thought. All and all, I am still the person that I clearly know. There is never fantasy or drama scenes going to happen in life, at least it did not work in my life. If it happens at one day, probably that is my lucky day where miracle happen. 

Trust had always been a difficult issue to go through no matter in which relationship - family, friend or love. Congratulations that if you did not meet this issue ever in your life, but for those who met difficulties in this issue, I would say you just need sometimes to understand and accept the facts. That's only two possible outcomes, is either you choose to continue the relationship or not, simple as that. The key points are about your emotion and time, whether can you forgive or forget the person and how long do you need to complete the process - the process of healing from hurts. 

As my confidence often overload, I couldn't accept the facts that I am being fooled, especially by the person or matter that I seriously care about it. Perhaps I could, but it really takes a period of time for me to accept the facts and build back myself. Not only confidence but everything that probably had worn out without my notice during the process. 

I was trying to question myself every time - why am I so naive? Even a person that is younger than me could have better logic and more rational when it comes to analyzing a situation. However, I also think in this way - ' What if I try to analyze a person or situation with all the logic or rational every single time? ', that probably turn me into an individual who does not trust anything nor anyone, which is scary and the process may be tiring. What I need to learn or improve is to be more observative and spend more time to think (everything). 

People come and people go. Agree or not, everyone in our life is temporary except ourselves. At the end of the day, I just want to live and leave happily. Alone or together with someone does not matter because they may leave us or we may leave them in one day. Sometimes we just couldn't believe 'why?', and after we overcome it, there may be another issue happen and may make you feel unbelievable. The routine goes round and round until the end of life. 

Appreciate the people around you and cherish the moment because you would never know what's next.

Note: This passage does not mean for the purpose of debate. But if just for the exchange of idea, you're most welcome to leave a comment below.   

Tuesday 1 May 2018

脆弱

曾经   很珍惜这份友情
虽然现在不那么亲近
但依旧乐观对待
我深知我们之间的变化
但对他的敬仰依旧

人心叵测
不管是否有添油加醋
但从旁人口中得知他觉得的我
让我觉得这段友情缺乏信任

曾经的美好   在现在看来
是多么的可笑
原来我在他眼中是卑劣的模样

羡慕和嫉妒   是两回事
任谁都会羡慕一两个人事物
但不一定任谁都会嫉妒
在我的认知里   嫉妒带着恨的情绪
我很怕这种负面的东西
因为很痛苦

我活着是要开心的
不是要受苦的

他有的   我不一定有
但我有的   他也不一定有
我可能会羡慕他的一些事物
比如   聪明才智   外表样貌   感情生活
但   仅仅只是羡慕   而非嫉妒
若是觉得我在嫉妒   那我想我们之间或许有点误会
又或许是   他根本不了解我

我若是嫉妒   我不会主动谈话
不会在发文底下留言哈拉
不会还在为当初的一些举动感到抱歉
不会想要在接下来的生日帮他庆祝

或许   礼物依旧会到
第一份   也可能是最后一份
作为这份友情的一个纪念
这一份感情不会结束
只是暂时不想再翻阅它

如果他真的看到这篇并且知道我是在说着他
我想说

我根本没有必要嫉妒
因为我真的过得很好
我的说话和做事原本就是这种风格
你若是觉得我在嫉妒你的一切
那只能说我们真的不了解对方
我不知道你会这么想   而你   也不知道我不是这样的人

不管他人言论是否属实
我知道这一切后并没有生气
只是觉得痛心  心寒
觉得这一切很不可思议
为什么可以因为另外一个人的出现而改变的如此彻底
彻底的连看事情的态度都不一样了
是想象力开窍了   还是变得敏感了

试问自己也从来没有做过伤害对方的事
若有   真的很抱歉
无心之过   望原谅

我暂时无法面对
这个结果太过震撼
心房有点承受不下
时间是最好的解药
伤口再大还是会愈合

此次的事件让我意识一个道理

“ 爱情的开始需要两个人
   结束不一定需要两个人”

我觉得这个概念也可以套用在友情上
友情也是需要双方同意才能正式开始
但是结束却不一定是两个人协议说好
有时莫名其妙的就不是朋友了

朋友的数量不在于多少   真心与知心的最重要

我或许真的没有朋友   但也不关你的事
如若造成妨碍   请正面提醒   万分感谢

(人一旦有了负面情绪,整个就很可怕。所有的快乐时光和回忆都可以被付诸于流水并且在批评的时候毫不客气。)